Shortly after the main blog was released, we took a number of questions from people using a Google form, and we’ll be answering here. Some questions may be skipped due to being redundant with other questions, or for miscellaneous reasons, but we will do our best to answer as many as we feel comfortable answering.
As an aside, this post was written by the blog’s project lead/the writer for the written fight and thus any opinion-based questions will only be one person’s opinion. Though other members of the G1 team have peer reviewed the post, you can think of this as a more informal discussion-based thing than what we usually do.
Additionally, we won’t be listing out any submissions that were just complimenting the blog, since that would be a bit too self-gratifying. Just know that we saw all of them and that we greatly appreciate all of your kind words. 💖
Lastly, there will be a couple bonus sections at the end of this post that are related to the written fight. Check them out if you’re interested! If you’re only here for the research-oriented stuff, you can skip them. They’re just meant to be fun.
Questions About Research
- How important was teamwork in deciding the victor as opposed to stats, haxs, etc?
Relatively unimportant in all honesty. After all, the Akatsuki have the best teamwork and got last, and all three teams have showings of working together under duress (yes, even the Warlords). Even if some of them trend toward being uncooperative, most of the relevant characters are neither idiots nor animals and are capable of acting rationally.
Additionally, even if the Espada weren’t working together, their sheer range, AoE and mobility would allow them to bulldoze pretty easily without requiring much coordination
- How do you honestly say with a straight face that Deidra is large planet level off of an explosion that is mountain sized? Do you guys not know how stupid that is? Please separated yourselves from the Powerscaling brainrot.
This is a little rude.
In any case, Deidara’s highest end calc was based on favorable size scaling based on inconsistent maps; we talked about this at length in the blog. It should only be considered if the opposing side has similar questionable arguments involving inconsistent map sizes, as a comparison with similar faulty arguments. It is not actually an applicable level of power that we were giving Deidara, simply a point brought up for the sake of discussion. As a reminder, the Akatsuki placed last and we argued that it would not change the verdict even if you were to ignore every single problem with it. Deidara scales to petatons more consistently, as we said clearly in the blog.
- And the fact you still need convincing of universal bleach but a random statement for kaguya being able to destroy a space time over time somehow scales to characters when it’s by far the strongest attack in the series? Be fr
Kaguya was not going to destroy her space-time over time, it was explicitly an imminent threat, and the attack was depicted as an instantaneous explosion in Storm (yes Storm is non-canon, this is supporting evidence and NOT the main argument, the main argument is that they literally say in the manga that if they don’t stop Kaguya she’s going to nuke the whole place soon).
Even if you assume it would take multiple years, which is obviously absurd, the per-second yield still wouldn’t dip below star level, even with a solar system level interpretation rather than universal. It’s also not the strongest attack in the series, guidebooks state that Adult Naruto and Sasuke together have performed the strongest attack in history, and that Isshiki is the strongest villain in history. Kaguya also didn’t need her ETSO to affect the entirety of her dimensions, as shown by Amenominaka, which was instantaneous.
- Just a fun hypothetical but with the large planet assumptions how high would it be to decisively have a “can destroy the entire planet” statement in One Piece numbers wise?
Also did you guys get surprised by the warlords placing second place?
Ronnatons and kind of, respectively. Before we started on the blog two and a half years ago, we actually thought the Akatsuki would win, but pretty quickly realized that the Espada had better arguments. The Warlords getting second was a conclusion we came to similarly early, but it very nearly flipped back over to the Akatsuki until we had a more in-depth discussion and settled on the final placements.
- Did Uta World have any impressive size that would get good power levels for Tot Musica?
It’s at least planet sized, but it’s not stated that Uta or Tot Musica created it, and it would have remained intact even if Uta had died, so you can’t make any sustaining arguments for it.
- Could you give a specific number for the final Bleach speed level when factoring every resurrecion/Shikai/Bankai multiplier?
You could probably extrapolate this way further than is reasonable, but if you scale people to Starrk’s feat and then stack a 10x multiplier on that then it would be 15,000 times FTL, roughly. If you’re looking at a character like Ichigo who can stack multiple 10x boosts it would be like 150,000 times. This is of course calc stacking though, so tread carefully.
- Opinions on Momoshiki dimension creation?
There’s no time-frame, but assuming he used a similar method as Kaguya it should be relatively short. At minimum, it’s decent supporting evidence for Kaguya’s feats. Of course, the number of people who would scale to it would be limited.
- Would you give an updated thoughts when OP ends?
Sure, if we’re still around then.
- How would it go equal stats?
I could see it potentially being the Akatsuki in that case but not for sure. The Espada’s AoE and mobility is still a big deal even if you equalize how hard and fast they’re actually hitting.
- Which organization was the hardest to research and why?
I would say none of them were too hard but the Akatsuki were probably the hardest because they had the most miscellaneous content like filler and such.
- Some clarification on when the Naruto characters start scaling to the Limited Tsukuyomi would be nice?
It was created via the Gedou Mazou, so anyone Ten-Tails level and above.
- Just wondering like how Buggy genuinely scales with no memes?
Probably at least like island to country level scaling above a bunch of pre-timeskip feats. His Buggy Balls can harm Awakened Zoans which is legitimately impressive. Though he doesn’t have Haki (currently) so anything New World onward is out of his league.
- Which team was the most painful to research? Be it mental fatigue, complexity, hard to find sources, etc.
I would say they were all pretty fine. Our team is very dedicated and we had a lot of good volunteers who knew the three series well.
- I guess my main one to ask is, what is your take on the skepticism i know some folks have about assuming Boruto era Jonin being above characters like Obito or Itachi? It wouldn’t change the verdict, but I’m curious on more in depth thoughts about why Chakra Cannon scaling wasn’t more widely considered for the rest outside of Orochimaru.
There’s simply no proof that Shippuden era characters scale to those shinobi since the world as a whole has gotten much stronger over the course of the Blank Period. I personally think it would be a little silly for an average shinobi in the Boruto Era to be stronger than Obito or Itachi, and I highly doubt it would be portrayed that way if they were somehow brought back to life. But that’s just an assumption that I made as a reader, and we can’t scale people to those Jonin without any actual basis.
- In your cosmology section, i was surprised how reluctant you guys were to argue universal realms, given how matter of fact they seem to be in the larger bleach powerscaling community and even outside of it like death battle, do you think the “concrete” universal arguments over the years are a bit overstated or did you guys choose to be conservative as possible in this regard?
It’s probably a little less concrete than people sometimes pretend. But it’s worth emphasizing that our team is not strongly against the notion. It is very possible that the realms are universe-sized, we’d just like there to be something more direct, visual, and undeniable before going all-in on it. You could pretty reasonably accept it now if you wanted to, but there was no need for that here, since the Espada won handily without it.
- If you assume Kaguya’s scaling is accurate, where would you place the current Boruto-era top tiers, given that Kaguya herself has been surpassed dozens of times since then? And how would they stack up against other members of the big three if you had specific examples?
I think that applying multipliers to Kaguya’s feats would be a bit generous since none are specifically stated. But Boruto era top tiers should definitely have surpassed her comfortably for a variety of reasons. Momoshiki is indicated to be comparable to her in base before absorbing Kinshiki and multiple chakra fruits, Naruto and Sasuke together can produce the strongest attack in history, Isshiki is stated to be the strongest villain, and the chakra fruits that Momoshiki has consumed should be at minimum comparable to the amp Kaguya received from the shinobi alliance. Something miscellaneous worth noting is that there’s actually a statement in promotional material for Storm that the ETSO’s power comes from the Ten-Tails, which would make it scalable even earlier.
As outlined in the blog proper, this would probably put them on par with solar system metas for Bleach, and possibly universal too depending on what you accept for the size of those time-spaces. It’s worth noting that Obito directly comments that the time-spaces are extremely vast when he tries to attune his Kamui to them, despite the fact that he has never had any such issue in the normal universe. But like we said, if you’re skeptical of that but more accepting of Bleach high-ends, then Bleach could potentially have the advantage. On the other hand, anyone who scales to Kaguya would solo One Piece.
- Thoughts on Gremmy creating a galaxy against Kenpachi and if anyone should scale to it?
There are a few statements (in Can’t Fear Your Own World and promotional material for Thousand Year Blood War) that Gremmy “manifested space,” but our reading of that was that he either created a vacuum that is visually space-like, or a portal to space, both of which would be consistent with the description. It’s never stated that he created a galaxy, that’s an assumption based on the visuals.
We were skeptical of this because of how Gremmy’s powers work; whenever he needs to create something larger, he first manifests clones of himself to multiply his power to accommodate the larger creation. It was specifically stated that creating a single clone doubled his power. The reason why this matters is that he used 2 of himself to create his meteor, and 10 of himself for the space feat. Meaning that the power difference between the two was explicitly 5 times. No matter how you look at it, there’s no way that there would only be a 5 times difference between creating a meteor VS creating an actual galaxy. So the latter is likely not what happened.
- You guys mentioned Delta’s beams being called photons in the novel, do you guys have a source for this, i dont think the novels adapted that fight so im pretty surprised its existence.
This was an error I think, someone might have gotten it mixed up with the photon beams from the novel.
- I had a question about determining the size of the realms in Bleach. Specifically, the size of the world of the living. Obviously the characters live in a world that is basically the same as our own, Bleach humans live in Japan, Burn the Witch takes place in London, etc. It has a sun and stars in the night sky as well. Even if you want to say that the Soul Society and Hueco Mundo are planet sized or larger, wouldn’t it stand to reason that that plane of existence that the world of the living resides in should be a universe sized the same as ours as well?
It’s very possible, but not explicitly confirmed. We did acknowledge this line of thinking in the blog, during the Naruto VS Ichigo section.
- Would Juubito have flipped the match?
Against the Espada members that were present, probably. But if we included Juubito then we also would have included Aizen, at which point it would basically just be Madara (but weaker) VS Aizen.
- Was it possible that the Akatsuki or Warlords could win the whole thing or was it so heavily stacked in the Espada’s favor that the other teams had no way to win.
It’s not entirely impossible for the other teams to win, with options like Itachi’s genjutsu among others. But it would be very difficult without the Espada just allowing them to get their hax options off.
- Erm, but what if Obito hid everyone in the Kamui dimension and waited for the other two teams to take each other out?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donner_Party
- Would the Akatsuki beat out the Warlords if they were closer in stats?
Potentially yeah, though hax-to-hax it would still be a bit tough. Law and Boa are very dangerous.
- Do you think speed is at least generally comparable between the top tiers of the verses so that no side could instantly win by speedblitzing with their hax?
Yeah, they have similar enough metas with some margin of error on all sides with upscaling and whatnot. A hard blitz from any of them is unlikely.
- How would the fight have gone if you had allowed temporary Akatsuki members like Team Taka or Kabuto?
Taka would be relatively unimportant as a whole while Kabuto would essentially be another Orochimaru with lower scaling. Orochimaru gains Kabuto’s abilities when he reabsorbs from him, so ultimately he doesn’t add much that his boss can’t do better.
- I might have missed this being addressed when quickly glancing through the pre and post-analysis, and I don’t disagree with the overall verdict; but wouldn’t Observation Haki tilt the speed advantage quite firmly in the Warlords’ advantage despite tying with The Akatsuki in that field? It just felt weirdly absent from the final summary.
Observation Haki is definitely useful but it doesn’t actually make their physical speed faster. Sharingan and Rinnegan perception is relatively equivalent, and some of the other Akatsuki like Konan have their own sensory powers. Though it is a useful boon against some weaker Akatsuki like Deidara and Sasori and such who lack sensory abilities. I think we did touch on this a bit during the powers sections, but it is ultimately a small factor in a large sea of powers on all sides. Apologies if it came off as under-emphasized.
- You talked about how the Verse Equalization used benefits the Narutoverse against the Bleachverse. (Things like giving the Preta Path the ability to absorb Reiastu, all the characters being able to see Bleach characters, and etc.) but never really talk about the inverse of how it would benefit Bleach. For example wouldn’t stuff like the Totsuka Blade being dura neg against Naruto character specifically because it attacks on the astral plane also apply to the attacks from Bleach.
Our specific policy on verse equalization was that powers would interact with other power systems as they would their own, but that we would not arbitrarily give people powers from those other power systems. For example, Szayelaporro can disable Akatsuki and Warlord powers with his technology, because he can disable powers from Bleach. This is something that we did in fact give him in the blog, and it was a factor in the outcome. But no, we would not just assume that swords from Bleach that have tangible form (and do not bypass durability in-universe) would arbitrarily have the same powers as the Totsuka Blade, which bypasses durability because it has no physical form.
- Remove all non-canon material, what changes then?
The Espada would probably still win because the Memories of Nobody movie is canon (it’s directly referenced in Thousand Year Blood War and said to have happened), thus the Kido Cannon feat is canon. Starrk’s Cero volley is also canon, so speed wouldn’t change either. All of the notable One Piece calcs (Fujitora meteors, Whitebeard’s quakes, Puncture Wille, Bajrang Gun) are manga too… as are tailed beast bombs and most relevant calcs on the Akatsuki’s side. So honestly pretty much nothing, all of the important points we made are based on canon information.
- How much multipliers exist and what is the number for each?
In terms of stated multipliers, the main one would be 10x for Bankai in Bleach, and by extension Resurreccion and other amps that are comparable to Bankai. Luffy gets 100x faster between pre-timeskip and post-timeskip, per 3D2Y. KCM2 Naruto is thousands of times stronger than Kakashi, based on empowering every member of the shinobi alliance to 3x Kakashi’s level. In general, though, we avoided specific multipliers because they get too much into speculative territory, and wouldn’t change the outcome without massive and unreasonable extrapolation.
- Would Barragan be immune to genjutsu, even with universe equalization? He doesn’t have any internal organs, and we know that they effect the brain to some degree. Since he literally doesn’t have one, would he be immune?
He was affected by Aizen’s Kyoka Suigetsu even though he doesn’t have eyes, so probably not.
- For Hidan, could some of the ninja, like Obito, get some blood and bring it to Hidan to kill others from a distance (I am aware that this might not be effective against Crocodile or Barragan.)
They definitely could in theory, but given they’re overall the weakest of the three teams they would probably have a relatively hard time drawing blood consistently. It would be easier for them to rely on hax abilities that would be an easier OHKO than to do something roundabout like this.
- Something that wasn’t brought up I feel is that even if you ignore universal Bleach the Realms still very clearly have galaxies in them as well. Was the held back just for fairness?
“Fairness” isn’t quite right. It’s not really that clear, people have mentioned the word galaxies before which means the concept exists, but none are ever actually shown (the concept can exist without the actual thing), and never referenced in regard to the range of Yhwach’s effect. To reiterate, though, we’re not strongly against the possibility of the realms being bigger, and this is one of multiple higher arguments that you could push if going for a more high-end interpretation.
- Forgot to ask this. I might be wrong, but doesn’t CFYOW explicitly state that Harribel and Grimmjow still aren’t stronger than Barragan?
This is a bit weird in terms of how it’s phrased, but we don’t think that statement is actually saying that Grimmjow is weaker than Baraggan. Basically, the context was that Grimmjow was willing to challenge Ikomikidomoe even though Ikomikidomoe was stronger than him. Baraggan is brought up because in the past, when Ikomikidomoe was much weaker, it was equal to Baraggan. It’s stated that in the past, Grimmjow would not have challenged an opponent stronger than him like Baraggan, but he was willing to do so now, highlighting how Grimmjow has changed over time and become more determined. It’s not necessarily saying that Grimmjow is presently weaker than Baraggan.
You could interpret it that way, like I said it’s weirdly phrased… but it really wouldn’t make sense. Baraggan was pretty severely wounded by a blast from FKT Soi Fon, while Grimmjow in TYBW was able to kill Askin. Even if Askin was off-guard, it wouldn’t make any sense for this Grimmjow to be weaker than Baraggan, unless we want to say FKT Soi Fon could kill Askin the same way. With the surrounding scaling in mind, it’s probably just talking about Grimmjow’s evolution in mindset over time.
- Broad question but what would you say was the first big thing that convinced you on the Espada taking this?
I think it was just the fact that four of them are still alive and get later scaling. “Grimmjow scales to later versions of Ichigo so he might just AP stomp” was an early notion. We also knew from the start that Baraggan was a big deal.
- You didn’t talk about how Ocular Genjustu may not affect Bleach characters due to them passively turning their eyes off in battle.
They use Reikaku as an extension of their base senses but they don’t usually turn off their eyes entirely, and some of the Espada specifically have been affected by KS which works via visual contact. Even if they hypothetically tried this, Itachi can place people under Genjutsu by just pointing at them, Kotoamatsukami doesn’t require eye contact, and Izanami could incapacitate Kabuto even when he used this exact tactic.
- Why did you use Road To Ninja for research?
It was written by Kishimoto and had a manga tie-in, so it’s quasi-canon. Regardless, movies and filler were included for all three groups.
- You gave Deidara Planet scaling? But even with the knowledge that the realms contain galaxies, won’t even consider giving Bleach that tier? Why?
These are two completely different arguments with completely different justifications. As mentioned before, we actively said that planet level Deidara is based on inconsistent map measurements. We also very much did consider universal Bleach a possibility, but it’s both interpretive and entirely unnecessary for this fight.
- Can you explain the logic of your tertiary source choices like the Ninja Storm games?
As long as they don’t directly contradict the manga they were included. For example, we did not include Itachi’s Perfect Susanoo from Storm because he clearly does not have one in canon.
- In the Verdict, you were against scaling Enel powerwise to the Warlords. But in the analysis portion for the Warlords, you say that he shouldn’t be a big deal to later era characters. This seems weird.
The moon explosion was not confirmed to have been caused by Enel, we don’t know for sure how it was done. The Warlords should scale to Enel, though.
- What about the “infinite” prison level that Kenpachi and Unohona fought in, wouldn’t that impact the cosmology?
It’s clarified in the 13 Blades guidebook that it’s not literally infinite, the vast shadows and darkness within the prison just give off that illusion.
- Could they summon the Gedo Mazou for the fight? And is there any reason that they wouldn’t scale to it making another reality?
It was restricted (see the passage on Juubito in the Akatsuki section). Pre-Ten-Tails characters don’t scale to it.
- I’m curious about how each team faired in endurance. Even if it doesn’t matter.
A bunch of Naruto characters have feats of fighting for days, the Third Raikage fighting for three days being the most prominent example, but also a number of shinobi during the War Arc. One Piece characters are similar, with Jinbe fighting Ace for five days, Buggy’s crew fighting for days, and some stronger characters like Akainu and Aokiji being able to fight for ten days. The Espada should be somewhat comparable to Isshin Kurosaki, who was able to constantly use his spirit energy for three months without rest. So broadly, the stamina comparison matches the overall placements.
- Assuming stats were closer between all of them, what would be the ranking?
Warlords would probably be third and then the top 2 would be a toss-up.
- Can you go a bit more in detail on why Mihawk wasn’t useful here? I’ve seen some people pretty upset by that.
That section was kind of intended to be a joke and also a momentary breather from the long, detail-oriented sections. Removing the humor, the overall point was just that Mihawk is very strong but lacks special abilities to match a lot of the hax options on the other two sides, and there are a number of people like Obito and Baraggan whom he would be completely incapable of harming due to his limited means of attack. He isn’t actually useless, it’s just a meme.
- Can you explain if scaling Enel destroying the machines, to scale to the “moon-kaboom”, isn’t valid?
It’s not confirmed that this is what happened, the text actually implies that it may have been the alien who caused the explosion but we don’t know for sure.
- You mentioned Kaguya’s potentially dimensional feats. But doesn’t Momoshiki have one too or something? (though it’s doubtful if anyone scales)
He does, but there’s no time-frame in comparison and yeah, none of the Akatsuki would scale to it.
Questions About Fight
- Who was the hardest character to fight and which interaction did you want to write the most?
Hardest character to fight would probably be Baraggan since his powers require you to constantly work around a limited number of ways to even approach him. Most wanted interaction was probably Grimmjow and Mihawk.
- If there was alternate endings for the other team winning, what would they be?
If the Warlords had won, I probably would have had Blackbeard die of his injury from Law’s heart crush after killing Grimmjow, and then have Buggy as the sole survivor. Buggy wouldn’t have been able to come up with a wish that he’s satisfied with, and remark that he “wishes he had thought more about this earlier,” thus wasting his wish. Even with more time to think about it, he still wouldn’t have been able to come up with anything.
If Orochimaru had won, it probably would have been a more straightforward, darker ending, though I’m not sure exactly what he would wish for off the top of my head. Maybe just mastery of every jutsu or something along those lines, and have it end with a menacing scene where he returns to his lab and is ready to do some evil shit.
- Did you consider making a fanmade Awakening for Buggy? And what would it have been?
An Awakening specifically, no, but in line with other Awakenings it would probably be something that chops up his surroundings.
- Favorite sub-fight to write?
I feel like Grimmjow/Blackbeard flowed the easiest since it wasn’t complicated. My favorite fight in terms of how it turned out would have to be either Itachi VS Ulquiorra in chapter 2, or Nel VS Orochimaru in chapter 5, but neither were my favorite to write in the moment.
- What would segunda etapa have looked like if you wrote them for Starrk and Barragan?
Mmm, good question. I tried to design each Segunda Etapa around each Espada’s method of death, so it would be Solitude for Starrk and Senescence for Baraggan. I feel like I would have leaned into Reiatsu stuff for Starrk, like having him erase everything he comes into contact with or something like that, symbolizing his solitary nature. Baraggan I think it would be cool to contrast his grim reaper aesthetic with something more angelic (big skeletal wings?), and maybe turn his Respira aura into purple flames, real Ghost Rider like.
- Will Buggy ever come back or is he just fucking dead being stuck in the arena?
I wonder…
- How do you decide who would fight who and what not?
A lot of them were based on specific power interactions or thematic parallels that the characters had. For example, Deidara and Crocodile because of Deidara VS Gaara and bomb-related plot threads with both of them. Moria and Kakuzu fought because zombies. Itachi and Ulquiorra because obviously. Etc. Other than that, a lot of fights happened because they were narratively necessary or had some kind of larger purpose. For example, Doflamingo died in part 2 because there were a lot of big scheming villains, and pacing-wise one of them needed to go early on. “What fights will happen?” was essentially the earliest stage of planning, and specific themes and progressions were built around that, or sometimes vice versa.
- Where was Mecha-Naruto?
Unironically I wanted to have Orochimaru activate Mecha-Naruto during chapter 5 and then forgot about it until everything was already written. I apologize deeply and profusely for this, it would have been peak.
- To you guys, is Grimmjow actually the most likely to be the final espada standing? Or was it more of a narrative choice?
Grimmjow is the strongest Espada at the moment, save for perhaps Luppi, so him being the last one standing was fairly natural. Though some others like Baraggan might technically be harder to kill.
- Who was your favorite and least favorite character to write for each team, and why?
Akatsuki – Favorite was Itachi, least favorite was probably Deeeeidara? I didn’t really hate writing anyone, but I had some difficulty implementing Deidara’s abilities in a way that was interesting. While Itachi has such a big arsenal that he was really easy to make entertaining.
Espada – Favorite was Starrk because his abilities were fun to play with despite their simplicity, and I enjoyed writing his banter with Lilynette. Least favorite was definitely Luppi because he’s really boring.
Warlords – Favorite was Mihawk because it was fun just letting him aura farm. Least favorite was Moria because his abilities are more technical, which is part of why I gave him a fanon Awakening, to make his powers more dynamic. Moria and Aaroniero were also difficult to juggle since Aaroniero can only fight when it’s dark while Moria’s powers are somewhat reliant on the presence of light.
- What character role or big fight moment changed the most during writing?
Szayelaporro had a number of scrapped subplots. At one point he was going to be captured by Orochimaru in chapter 1 and experimented on before coming back for his revenge in chapter 4. After that was scrapped, there was a plan for him to fight Kuma in chapter 2, with Kuma distracting Szayel while Itachi fought Ulquiorra. This was also scrapped because 1) I didn’t want to write it, 2) it interrupted the flow of the chapter, and 3) I didn’t think that Kuma would stick his neck out for Itachi like that in-character. Szayel being a schemer in the background was ultimately what I landed on, and I think it turned out well, though he perhaps could have done a bit more in chapter 5.
- Does Buggy get to go back home or will he be forever trapped and betrayed in the arena?
Hmmmm…
- Did the combatants die/lose in order of who’d actually go down first or was it more towards building up tension?
The death order was a combination of “who is the strongest and most influential?” and “what would make the best story?”. If it had strictly been the characters dying in order from weakest to strongest, that would have been boring. It was important for some big players to go out early for drama’s sake.
- Did Hidan piss himself when Mihawk showed off his haki? Did you really have to do bro like that?
Hidan can neither confirm nor deny this.
- How did Buggy get in the announcers booth?!
He did not.
- Can we get the entire battle in one giant doc or something, just so it’s all together?
The chapters are designed to be separated rather than read continuously one after the other… Also, it would probably lag.
- What was the writing process like for character interactions and story progression? Stuff like Itachi + Law + Nel’s alliance, Itachi and Law’s growing friendship, Zetsu taking over Law’s body, Orochimaru taking over Itachi then Boa’s body, Itachi using Kotamatsukami on Obito thus causing Zetsu to betray the Akatsuki and ally with Blackbeard, etc.
Very free-form. I outlined all five parts before I started writing anything, but allowed myself to go “off script” as I wrote based on what felt natural. Sometimes I would kill a character or let them live just because I thought a death did or did not feel appropriate in the moment. For example, Yammy dying in chapter 1 was originally not planned but was something that I decided on as the fight was finishing, because I thought that his death had been narratively earned. I think it’s very important when writing to have a strong skeleton, but allow the characters and the situations to progress organically.
- Was Blackbeard’s death via drowning a reference to his family lineage as part of the Davy Clan and Davy Jones’ Locker?
Yes! It was also inspired by some fan theories for how Blackbeard might die in the series, and was thematically important in terms of ensuring that he would not die laughing (which is normally characteristic of those who carry the Will of D). Additionally, because Devil Fruit powers making you unable to swim is one of their biggest drawbacks, it made sense for the last Warlord (and the one who most abused his Devil Fruit powers) to die in part because of that.
- Had deidara gotten to use C4 (without the others interfering) and obito not killing him would croc be dead or would he survive by turning into sand.
The intention was that Croc would have died.
- What was the biggest challenge writing a fight like this?
Definitely the length. It was hard to push through everything with the knowledge that there were going to be hundreds of thousands of words left to go, it was very important to keep up momentum with that in mind. Once I got closer to the end, it became easier because the finish line was in sight.
Personally, I don’t have a huge issue juggling a lot of plot threads (at least in my opinion), but that aspect might be harder for others, it varies from person to person. That was definitely a challenge at least, to try to pay off everything set up in a way that felt consistent and satisfying.
- How much did you prioritize verdict accuracy vs narrative? I say this cause it felt like the Espada were winning the whole time, which (imo) made their victory the least hype outcome.
The narrative was structured around the verdict but liberties were of course taken for a more entertaining story. Obviously your personal reading is valid and I cannot speak on it, but in my opinion at least I don’t think the Espada were winning the whole time. They lose the Cero Espada in chapter 1, lose two of the four fights in chapter 2, and chapter 3 is an unequivocal loss for them with the top 3 Espada all getting wiped out and their leader dying. As the winners, their victory of course needed to be built up, though. If verdict accuracy had been the only goal, far more of the Espada would have lived.
- Incredibly based having Konan kill Nnoitra, but was the Oleander Bark thing supported by the research or was it one of the creative liberties for an entertaining narrative? And if so, would Boa have been able to get the job done (look, I really want a woman to kill this asshole)?
Definitely a creative liberty, Konan has never done anything like that in canon. She wouldn’t beat Nnoitra VS-wise if we were being strictly research-accurate, but she deserved to kill him anyway. Also yeah, Boa could definitely do it via hax, even being realistic.
- If the Warlords had won, do you think Blackbeard would’ve been kept as the central winner and the ending would’ve been more dark (apart from Buggy surviving of course)?
Nah, it would have been Buggy.
- Why were Weevil and Konan both off-screened?
Weevil is mostly a mystery at the moment, we don’t know his backstory and don’t have a good picture of how he fights, so he was offscreened as a method of “future-proofing” the blog. After all, if we portray him a certain way here and then get more info on him in the future that completely contradicts his portrayal, that would be unfortunate. Obviously, some characters like Mihawk and Blackbeard have a lot of unknowns too, but were too important to sidestep in the same way.
Konan was mainly for the sake of implementing Blackbeard’s “Offscreen Haki,” but it was also for the fake-out with Nagato where the death announcement seemed to be for him at first.
- Cool but could’ve just linked it ngl. Why didn’t you? Don’t say, “It was too long!” cuz you could’ve just put it in a Google Drive. Don’t say “We wanted people to see our hard work, not just skip past it!” You guys are G1 not AO3.
This is a pretty rude thing to say.
- It sucked.
Sorry to hear you thought so.
- If we’re being totally for real and putting all the memes aside. Buggy would be one of the first to die right?
Yeah probably.
- How did the characters start during the battle? Did each group just appear together, did each character appear in a different region, etc.
They started in their home bases (Rain Village, Las Noches, Marineford).
- Did Doflamingo and Blackbeard immediately run away the second they appeared? Or did they cooperate at first, and then run away?
Law tried to kill Doflamingo immediately so Doflamingo dipped. The other Warlords were less keen to attack Blackbeard, so he left at a more leisurely pace.
- Was the arena an entire planet, or a large enclosed space?
Big flat earth. There’s a barrier at the edge that they can’t pass.
- Was the Warlord’s area the only one with an ocean?
Yeah.
- Why does the map say Hueco Mundo twice?
Both areas are Hueco Mundo, they surround Las Noches in the far northeast.
- Who do you think would have had the worst wish between all of them?
Gotta be Black Zetsu.
- Were they any characters here who remembered their deaths?
All of them except Obito, Pain, and Konan.
- Realistically, would Black Zetsu actually be the last remaining Akatsuki?
Maybe via subterfuge and being a slippery little weasel, but he is not the strongest.
- Why was characters being sealed by Itachi’s gourd announced as a defeat, but not Barragan or Buggy being sealed in Kamui?
The Kamui Dimension was considered to still be “connected” to the fight because Obito enters it every time he uses his powers, meaning people who are trapped there still have the means to influence the fight. Whereas a person trapped in the Totsuka Gourd is completely and eternally trapped and mentally incapacitated unless (potentially) the gourd is broken by an outside force.
Miscellaneous Questions
- Why didn’t Buggy just sweep everyone himself?
He was regrettably disqualified.
- Could you do more who would win match ups from like Boa vs Tsunade if you can or match ups from other series?
My initial instinct was that Boa should win since she should have at least comparable stats and her petrification could bypass Tsunade’s regeneration. But upon further thought I think it would actually be Tsunade. She’s descended from the Senju clan and her regeneration has been directly compared to Hashirama’s, so I suspect she could probably scale to Hashirama and other characters resisting being turned to stone by senjutsu chakra, which would eliminate Boa’s primary means of attack. From there, chakra scalpel could bypass armament haki, mitotic regeneration could repair any wounds Boa might inflict, and Tsunade is capable of scrambling a person’s neural impulses to cause them to lose control of their body (she does this to Kabuto in part 1). Katsuyu, her slug summon, can also melt people with her acid.
On the second question, we considered doing matchups involving series outside the Big Three during the bonus round, but ended up simplifying it because we didn’t feel as comfortable speaking on some of those series.
- Dream blunt rotation with everyone in the BR?
Gotta be Jinbe, Deidara and Starrk.
- What’s you guys favorite MUs for the franchises involved disconnected that isn’t big 3 vs big 3 (like a Bleach vs Shaman King or One Piece vs FT MU where only one of the big three is involved)
I can only speak for myself and no one else, but picking one for each series, I’d say Itachi VS Sesshomaru, Big Mom VS Father, and Rukia VS Noelle from Black Clover.
- Would you guys recommend the novels for all 3 franchises involved?
The Naruto Hiden novels are pretty good and I quite like Can’t Fear Your Own World, so yeah.
- What was the funniest behind the scenes moment?
Off the top of my head it was probably realizing that Pain would instantly die if Doflamingo used his Awakening near him.
- After looking at each member of each organization, any individual fights you want to see from them (only characters in the organization)?
Again I can only speak for myself but I quite like:
- Itachi VS Sesshomaru
- Pain VS Patolli from Black Clover
- Orochimaru VS Medusa from Soul Eater
- Grimmjow VS Darth Maul
- Jinbe VS Kisame
- Crocodile VS Gaara
- Buggy VS Takaba from JJK would be funny
I’d also quite like to see fights for Ulquiorra and Law but haven’t really seen any matchups for them that I especially like. Blackbeard would also be fun, don’t know against who though, not huge on K. Rool (sorry…).
- Which specific character from each of the respective losing verses would be needed (if there are in the case of OP) to decisively beat the espada? How do Kara members stack up to the espada given they appear later in the timeline?
I think Juubito could probably beat them, that’s probably the earliest Naruto character that could. The four living Espada are strong enough to match him but are lacking in abilities… though whether he could solo all of them at once I’m less sure. I don’t think anyone from One Piece could do it.
Kara members vary with some of them like Ao and Victor being too weak, but the strongest ones like Jigen, Delta, Koji, and Code could probably stack up pretty well in stats. Though Kara are less haxy than the Akatsuki on average so they might have some trouble in that regard.
- Who would win Hanafuda vs the Privaron Espada vs Kakuzu’s old partners?
Privaron Espada sweep.
- Were there other groups you would have liked to include or would have liked to make a different match up with different groups?
We never would have added any additional groups to this blog, given that it was already ambitious enough. That being said, we did see a thumbnail not too long ago for the Phantom Troupe (Hunter X Hunter) VS the Homunculi (Fullmetal Alchemist) VS the Upper Moons (Demon Slayer). While we are in no rush to make a sequel to this blog by any means, that one seems like a lot of fun.
- At the current moment, any thoughts on making future team battles?
We are open to the idea, but we will definitely never be writing a novel-length fight like this one again (sorry! It was a lot of work…).
- How awkward do you think it’d be if Law body swapped Nnoitra with a female character? Would he uninstall?
On some level Nnoitra might be okay with that tbh.
- Any opinions on Sasuke vs Uryu?
I think it would depend whether Antithesis is passive, which I don’t remember off the top of my head. If Uryu needs to activate it to reverse damage between himself and his attacker, Sasuke could probably kill him or Genjutsu him before he can transfer the attack. But if it’s entirely passive then Uryu could potentially win just off of that.
- Why do guy apply harsher penalties to one property over other despite both having records of the same violations? Don’t say, “Context matters,” because in this instance both contain same violations given the same limitations (context) and you’ll still ignore it. Also, you ever been wrong and spread misinfo and regret it? (Examples I’m refering to include: Kyle vs Simon, Nero vs Hellboy, Samus vs Firefly, Akuma vs Raoh, Dante vs Bayonetta (in one of them you used faked scans))
I’m sensing that you don’t like us very much.
- Why do I have to go to Reddit to find answers that aren’t in the dang blogs! Seriously, it was so annoying reading through a blog and by the end of it, after having seen the conclusion you guy came to, still having questions that were only answered by members who worked on the blog in the friggin Reddit threads! Whats even more annoying is that while a blog will have a singular conclusion, said answer will be vague in regards to specifics so looking to members on Reddit for further clarification, and they’re flip-flopping not just between themselves but also on their own takes! First example of this I immediately thought of was Simon vs Kyle. You guys explained that Kyle had no defense against Simon’s missile, which would erase him from existence, with Kyle’s only counter being that of his self-revives which eventually kill him given Kyle cannot handle holding on to the equation. You also noted that Simon had regen-negating properties that would ensure Kyle would have to revive rather than heal. All this was in the blog. Simple logic at first glance, but presents major hurdles in Simon’s case given scrutiny. On top of that, leeway was tilted heavily on one end of the spectrum over the other. Scaling was applied far more generously (the use of a biased source took me out for sure) so I look at Reddit and lo and behold, here’s some info straight from the team members that WASN’T IN THE BLOG. WHY. ON TOP OF THIS INFO NOT BEING IN THE BLOG, IT CONFLICTED WITH WHAT THE BLOG HAD TO SAY. For example, the blog notes that Simon can’t put down Kyle himself, as the Equation would keep him in the fight. But it would also kill Kyle in process thus allowing Simom to win anyways. AS THE BLOG MAKES A DISTINCTION BETWEEN REGEN VS REVIVES. So why TF are there members on Reddit providing non-blog info that supposedly proves that Simon would put an end to Kyle’s revives himself using REGEN NEGATION, CONTRIDICTING THE BLOG ENTIRELY.
1) The only two answers that we provided in the Reddit comments are elaborating on a mistranslated Itachi statement that we didn’t include in the blog (irrelevant, the answer was just that it was mistranslated) and directly quoting a passage from the blog about planet level Deidara. We didn’t even say anything new there, we were just directing people’s attention to what we already said, since people misread it.
2) This blog is 300,000+ words long. If you thought it was vague or under-explained, I simply don’t know what to tell you.
3) This ask box is not for Simon VS Kyle.
- Question for a previous blog actually. Given all the disqualifiers pointed out by those in the blog’s comments, Reddit posts, the guys who formulated the rules in the first place, and finally your own research which many of the above cited against you, how do you feel about Simon scaling to Outer now? Do you still stand by it? If yes, why?
…This ask box is not for Simon VS Kyle.
- Was the written fight the longest part of the creation process?
By far.
- How could you forget to cover the most important One Piece vs Naruto matchup, Buggy vs Ichiraku Ramen Guy?
Buggy might have met his match here I fear.
- How does it feel to finally have this out?
I’m glad it’s over.
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[Omake 1]
Ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip…
Cold assailed Ulquiorra’s skin as he stepped out from the Descorrer, his feet finding footholds in the open air, hands in his pockets. Behind him, the seam in space snapped closed, and he was left standing in the middle of nothingness.
It took his eyes several moments to adjust to the murky blackness, somehow darker than even the Garganta he had come from. Once they did, though, nothing greeted him but the blank, wide void.
Dark. Empty. Silent.
A being of lesser constitution would have shivered in light of the unnerving atmosphere. To Ulquiorra, it was somewhat comforting.
The Cuatro Espada closed his eyes, cast out his senses, allowing his Pesquisa to see for him. A moment later, as if cued by his use of his greater senses, a deep, rumbling growl filled the air. All of a sudden, the inky cold was replaced by something denser, simmering beneath the veil.
“You dare show your face here…”
The voice reverberated all around him, but on instinct Ulquiorra knew it came from behind. Slowly, he turned, his morose expression never wavering as he met the gaze of the giant, blood red eyes that peered out from the dark behind him.
A few moments later, the fog-like darkness cleared to reveal the beast’s entire body. It was hanging in the air, chained in place by thin threads of Reishi. Bound, captive, held down…
“Fox.” Ulquiorra greeted, his voice soft and curt, but not aggressive. “It’s been longer than I would have liked.”
Kurama seethed down at him, bristling and sneering as he bared razor sharp teeth larger than Ulquiorra’s entire body.
“Is that all you have to say? After all your empty words from before, you imprisoned me here, chained me down like every damned human, left me to rot, and you dare-”
“Yes, I dare.” Ulquiorra interrupted with a sigh, closing his eyes. “Leaving you here was never my intention. Caja Negación is not meant to be a permanent prison. Unfortunately, not long after you were initially subdued, I became indisposed-”
“Oh, I’m sure you had such grand intentions!” Kurama spat, and his muscles flexed as he strained against his bindings, trying desperately to pull himself free, to muster up the power to attack Ulquiorra… but he was well and truly trapped. After several fruitless moments, he slumped, a rumble of bitter frustration coming up from his chest.
Ulquiorra watched him carefully. Though he was confident that he was in no danger as long as Kurama was still bound, he knew from experience that the fox was not a foe to be trifled with. Slowly, Kurama raised his head and bitterly met the Hollow’s gaze again.
“What do you want? Say it and leave, if you aren’t going to free me.”
“Who said that I wasn’t going to free you?”
Kurama stared at him. For a few long seconds, neither of them spoke. Then, the fox scoffed.
“I’ll believe it when it happens, spirit.”
Slowly, Ulquiorra drew one hand from his pocket, and raised his arm up toward Kurama, extending two fingers which gleamed with energy.
Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew!
Miniature Ceros shot from his fingertips, and each one severed clean through one of the threads binding the fox. Though the threads were excellent at suppressing the energy of the one that they bound, they were quite brittle when attacked externally.
Within a few moments, Kurama’s bindings had all been cut, and his body went slack, floating in midair as though suspended in water. Wide-eyed, he raised a hand, clenching and unclenching his fingers experimentally, as though in disbelief that he was free. He had, after all, spent years trapped within the Reaper’s stomach, before being returned so unceremoniously to captivity.
“There you go,” Ulquiorra said, returning his hand to its pocket. “No tricks. No conditions. You’re free. I have no need to keep you prisoner.”
Kurama looked down at him, and then let out a huff of laughter.
“You think I’m free? Going back to my world? Bah. I’m just going from one cage to another. That world is my prison. I’ll find myself in chains again, soon enough.”
Ulquiorra frowned.
“And why is that?”
“Because humans never change. Even if you insist some might be different… hatred always wins in the end.”
“And why do they hate you?”
Kurama sneered.
“Blaming me, are you? Typical! They despise me and imprison me, so I must have done something to deserve it…”
“I was asking honestly.”
Kurama regarded him cautiously. After a few moments, he sighed, sensing no malice or dishonesty in Ulquiorra’s words.
“It is because I am too powerful. I can destroy them, and they cannot stand that.”
“Hm.”
“They are incapable of escaping from their own fear. They are never unafraid, never unable to let go of their own fragile ‘control.’ When they see something that is a danger to them, they will go to every length to see it gone.”
Ulquiorra quietly weighed his words, and as Kurama finished speaking he nodded.
“I cannot say I disagree. After all, if humanity could help themselves, my comrades and I would not exist. The fatal arrogance and cowardice of mankind are as inevitable as death itself. But even so…”
He paused, considering his next words. Kurama watched him patiently, listening carefully, interested against his will in what Ulquiorra had to say.
“…even so, if all humans were the same, then I can’t help but think there wouldn’t be such a thing as a Hollow either.”
“Hm?” That had not been the direction Kurama was expecting.
“We are the aberrations. Human souls that were warped by evil. A blight upon the flow of souls, a stain on reality. If all humans were evil, I can’t help but wonder… would we even be considered a stain in the first place?”
Kurama was silent, weighing his words.
“So… what is it that you think I should do, then?” he finally asked, soft bitterness in his tone. “Even if what you say is true, what difference does it make? I return to my miserable existence and hope that one day, someone kind will come along, and they’ll leave me be? That is no way to live. No way at all.”
“You could come live in Hueco Mundo, with us.”
“…What?”
Ulquiorra didn’t smile, his lips didn’t even twitch from their usual scowl, but as he tilted his head, Kurama almost felt the slightest sensation of amusement coming from him.
“In your world, you’re alone. Hunted. Chained. A demon among mortals. You can go back to that, if you want. Or you could come with me, and be a demon among demons.”
“…and your kind would accept me? It wouldn’t just be another prison? How can I believe that you ‘Hollows’ will treat me any better than humans have? You’ve said it yourself: you people are a blight upon reality. Hardly what I would consider caring comrades.”
Ulquiorra shrugged. “As fearsome as you are, I’m sure the new king would welcome you with open arms. Times are changing. A new era of Hollows is fast approaching.”
He turned away from Kurama, and with a flick of his wrist, a Descorrer opened, much larger than the one he had come in through. Large enough that Kurama would be able to pass through.
“It’s up to you, fox. If you want to make your way back to the Human World, you can. If you want to give Hueco Mundo a try, you can do that too. I will not force you into one path or the other. It’s your choice.”
With that, he disappeared into the Descorrer, leaving Kurama staring after him with wide eyes. For several long moments, the Nine-Tailed Fox merely gazed at the window in space. Within it, he could see a long purple corridor splitting off into two different paths. One no doubt led to the Human World, the other to Hueco Mundo, as Ulquiorra had promised.
“…”
Slowly, a rumbling laugh bubbled up from Kurama’s throat, and he closed his eyes and shook his head.
“How foolish…”
He made his choice.
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[Omake 2]
Explosions rocked the night sky. Ruined city streets burned, smoke rising from the flames as loud bursts of sound erupted into the air.
In a seedy alleyway, a man backed up. The tommy gun in his hands blasted bullet after bullet as he inched back, firing into the thick veil of green smoke that pursued him. Sweat caked his brow, an expression of abject fear and horror contorting his face.
“Stay away…” he wailed. “Stay away!”
He turned to flee from the approaching fog… and fell flat on his face. Pulling himself up, his face dropped as he saw that his shoelaces had been tied together. Letting out a wail of despair, he turned to drag himself away, but a moment later the fog was on him and he was choking. Through the air, an unholy cackle echoed, the caws of something not entirely human.
The monster loomed over the man. His mouth stretched wide into a blood-red grin.
“Why so serious, chum? Let’s put a smile on that face…!”
He descended on the man, and the man’s shrieks resumed as the monster’s knife tore into his face.
Some distance away, watching from behind a barricade, a pair of wide, fearful eyes watched. Stammering incoherently, the watcher dragged himself down, panting heavily, and turned to the people hiding next to him, who were currently focused on preparing a number of grenades.
“This is crazy!” Buggy shrieked. “Why are you all acting so calm?!”
One of the men turned to him, the white clown makeup that he wore giving him an eerie appearance.
“These goblin freaks have it coming. Besides, this kinda turf war’s nothin’ new for the boss. I thought you said you’d worked with the Joker before.”
“O-Oh! R-Right, yeah, haha, silly me…” Buggy swallowed, screaming internally.
‘I thought they were talking about Doflamingo! Not… whatever this is! Just because I’m a clown, they think I’m one of them!’
—
Loud, triumphant music blared from above. The roaring crowds on either side screamed and cheered and clapped and booed, as dazzlingly bright lights shone down on the boxing ring at the center of the arena. On the ropes at either side, two men leaned, panting and sweating heavily, their last round having concluded just moments before.
Behind one of them, Buggy stood, massaging the man’s shoulders and whispering reassurances to him.
“You’ve been doing great, eyes on the prize and that cash reward will be all ours, you just gotta keep attacking…”
The boxer glanced at him.
“Who are you again? What happened to Kamogawa?”
“Don’t worry about that!” Buggy laughed cheerfully. “Focus on the competition, now’s not the time for questions! Lock in and clench your butt cheeks and win this thing!”
The bell for the next round rang, and the boxer pounded his gloves together as he moved back in toward the short boxer on his opposite side. Buggy watched him go with a smile… and then slowly started to cringe when the round started, and the sound of boxing glove impacts began to ring out.
—
“I’m telling you, I didn’t see nuthin’!” Buggy wrung his hands and patted his sweaty forehead with the paper that his pre-prepared lines were printed on. The ink had become smudged, wiped off on his forehead and leaving a blotchy stain behind. “The candlestick was there when I left the lounge, and gone by the time I came back! I dunno who took it!”
Across from him, rubbing his chin and deep in thought, the lawyer met his gaze evenly.
“But if the candlestick was there when you left the lounge at 11:30, but gone by 11:45, as you say…” he said slowly. “…then how could it have broken the clock in the dining hall at 11:20?!”
His words seemed to impact Buggy with a bang, and the clown yowled, flinching violently, his arms flailing and his jaw dropping wide open.
“I-I dunno! I’m innocent, I swear! I dunno how they did that!”
“Based on the autopsy report…” The lawyer tapped the papers in his hand. “The victim was killed about 40 minutes before the body was found at noon, and the shape of the blood-covered candlestick is consistent with the wounds. This coincides with the time that the clock in the dining hall was broken at 11:20, in the same room no less. With this in mind… your testimony is contradictory!”
“No, that’s wrong!”
The lawyer’s words seemed to shatter into pieces and he jumped. Across from him, standing at the prosecutor’s stand, a teenager with an ahoge looked at him with a determined expression.
“Buggy’s testimony is only a contradiction if you assume the clock in the lounge told the correct time. After all, that clock is the reason why he thought the candlestick was there at 11:30. But that’s wrong… the clock in the lounge was an hour ahead!”
“Wrong!” The lawyer declared forcefully in return. “The clock in the lounge had the right time! I checked it during the investigation!”
“The killer probably changed the clock before the murder, to confuse Buggy into thinking the candlestick was taken after 11:30, when it was actually taken at 10:30. And then changed it back afterward… to deliberately create the contradiction in Buggy’s testimony!”
The lawyer yelped in surprise, flinching. Buggy gasped, his eyes bulging even wider.
“Whaaaaaaaaaat?! They tricked me?! I, the Genius Jester?! It’s impossible!”
—
Rain poured down from the sky. Lightning crashed. A pale, bearded man glowered at the man standing across from him, a massive blade glowing bright blue in his hand.
“I will put you down, beast.” The man rumbled as lightning cracked, bathing his face bright white.
His opponent revved up his chainsaw, and it roared violently to life.
“Rip… and… tear…!”
Peeking at them from behind a boulder, Buggy watched with wide eyes, unable to tear himself away.
“They’re so cool…”
Lightning struck the boulder and he shrieked, diving behind it.
—
Flashing lights lit the race track as go-karts peeled forward at blinding speed, swerving and maneuvering, desperately attempting to cut one another off. At the head of the pack, slamming back and forth into one another, a plumber clad in red and a blue hedgehog raced, each one taking and then losing the lead by the second.
“Nice try, tubby, but on foot or on wheels, I’m the fastest thing alive!” The hedgehog boasted.
“Mamma mia!” The plumber responded.
As their tires squealed, creating red hot friction along the ground beneath, the two shot off, leaving their competition in the dust. Smoke engulfed the karts behind them, and the strangely clown-shaped kart at the front got a mouthful and shrieked, swerving and crashing into the rail at the side of the track…
—
“Domain Expansion: Malevolent Shrine.”
The city was turned into mincemeat. Buildings toppled, shredded nearly into nothingness as mighty slashes assailed them, cutting them down into tiny pieces. Dozens, hundreds of people within the attack’s radius were carved apart, violent bursts of scarlet erupting where they had stood moments before…
Though the one who had launched the attack was focused on his opponent, Buggy stood, cuts carving clean through his body and healing in moments, no lasting damage inflicted onto the clown…
—
A short, bipedal creature with a large cup for a head ran forward, his pointer finger charged with bright blue energy as he fired shots from his finger gun. Across from him, a tall clown dashed backward, his arms disconnected from his body and waving wildly as the small bolts of energy peppered him rapidly.
The clown threw several knives toward his opponent, but the cup-headed creature leapt over them and did a flip, whacking the clown on the head and causing him to shriek…
—
“These inscriptions…” the man muttered, raising the torch in his hand up toward the wall, illuminating the massive cave painting he had found. His eyes, peering out from the fedora atop his head, scanned the images of a strange clown-like creature. “I’ve never seen anything like em…”
—
“You’ve gotta believe me!” Buggy cried, squirming in his seat and wringing his hands. “I saw him write something in that notebook of his and then the guy keeled over! It was like magic!”
Across from him, the detective smiled.
“Oh, don’t worry, sir, I believe ya’s. But there is just one more thing…”
—
A man lounged back in his chair, munching on chips as he observed an assortment of monitors through dark sunglasses. On one of them, Buggy ran down a hallway as fast as his legs could take him, oversized tears flowing from his eyes as bright orange, pink, and teal ghosts pursued him.
“Hmmmmmmm…” the Announcer mumbled as he chewed. “I really should probably get that guy out of here sometime…”
He eyed a large post-it note taped to the side of the monitor, which had “GET RID OF BUGGY” scrawled at the top in messy writing, surrounded by other notes like “TODAY” and “DON’T FORGET,” accompanied by red arrows pointing in toward the middle text.
With an annoyed groan, the Announcer sat up in his chair, brushing the crumbs off of his suit as he leaned toward the desk in front of him, covered in numerous buttons with countless labels. No matter how long he had been doing this, he could never quite remember where all of them were, but it didn’t take them long to find the one he was looking for.
His hand moved toward a large red button marked “TELEPORT”… but before he could push it, his eyes happened to glance back up toward the monitor. Just as he did so, Buggy wheeled around a corner and seized a large glowing strawberry floating in the air, shoving it in his mouth and swallowing. Behind him, the ghosts turned bright blue and skidded to a halt, before careening in the opposite direction as Buggy gave chase, cackling wildly.
After a moment’s hesitation, the Announcer gave a halfhearted shrug and retracted his hand, slumping back down into his chair and grabbing another handful of chips.
“Eh.” He shoved the chips into his mouth, his words muffled as he chewed. “He seems like he’s having fun. I’ll do it tomorrow.”
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