“Hell is yourself and the only redemption is when a person puts himself aside to feel deeply for another person.” -Tennessee Williams

Felonius Gru, Despicable Me’s former Moon thief turned Anti-Villain associate.

Megamind, the blue and bald big-headed alien who would conquer, save, then protect Metro City.

The world of villainy is an appealing one, presenting the opportunity to acquire basically anything you desire. But there is more to life than just what you can steal, as it is the people around you that are the most precious treasure imaginable. It’s the people around you who can make you better, and want better.

That’s a lesson these two former villains were taught, transitioning from terrors to heroes as they went on to protect the world. But with so many accomplishments under their belts, who would triumph over the other? Will the Anti-Villain League’s top operative get Megamind to slip up, or will Metro City’s protector push the button for Gru’s doom? Let’s find out who will win this DEATH BATTLE!

Before We Start…

For this blog we will be including all media tied to the characters. This includes the primary movies of course, but also shorts, video games, comics, and so on, as said side media consistently does not contradict what Gru and Megamind are capable of. We will not be including obviously non-canon pieces of media such as crossovers though of course. So do not expect Gru to be able to scale to anime football/soccer players.

Also Gru and Megamind are holding us at gunpoint and are going to explain their tech, skills, and allies themselves (remember the Korosensei Monokuma blog?), please send help.

Background

Gru

“We are going to steal…pause for effect…THE MOON!!!”

Some say that a life of villainy is one that is only sparked by the hardships of the world forcing their way onto a person, until they eventually snap and try to destroy the world that had wronged them in the first place. But in the case of Felonious Gru, villainy was very much in his blood. Born as the twin son of Marlena and Robert Gru, once the two parents divorced, Marlena kept Felonious while Robert kept the other twin brother, Dru. You would think that the young Gru would grow up as your average hunched-over kid with Gruties. But deep down, something sinister grew in the little lad’s heart, something… despicable. Even at the age of three, Gru would dedicate his life to attaining one paradigm-shifting aspiration: to become the world’s greatest supervillain. 

At first, his exploits were to be commended, so much so that even a team of the world’s six deadliest villains acknowledged his villainy, enough to potentially hire him to be on their team. But as time went on, Gru’s criminal record did not continue to be recognizable or worthy enough to be crowned “world’s greatest supervillain”. So in an attempt to finally cement his legacy as being one of the greats, Gru decided that his next and greatest heist would be stealing… wait for it… THE MOON!!!!!!!!!

With the plan to steal and use an experimental shrink ray, Gru would steal the Moon. Unfortunately for him, he would find himself challenged and one-upped by a young upstart villain with both direction and magnitude, Vector. So in an attempt to steal the Shrink Ray back from Vector, Gru would adopt three girls, Margo, Edith, and Agnes, to go undercover with the goal of getting the Shrink Ray back. But to Gru’s surprise, even with the plan being a success, the time he spent with the girls made him realize that there may be more to life than villainy. The three girls managed to warm Gru’s cold heart and inspire him to take up a new beginning. Even when he was separated from the girls and forced to face off against Vector in one final encounter for the ages to get them back, Gru left nothing standing in the way between him and the girls.

Eventually though, Gru’s exploits earned himself the recognition and enlistment of the AVL, the Anti-Villain League. It was there that Gru would team up with AVL agent, Lucy Wilde, to apprehend a long thought-to-be-dead supervillain, El Macho. But once again, to Gru’s surprise, the partner he first found irritating he would fall in love with. And so, after thwarting El Macho’s plan to conquer the world, Gru and Lucy married and lived happily ever after…

Until, Gru and Lucy were fired from the AVL due to them being unable to capture the villain, Balthazar Brat. It was during that period of uncertainty for Gru that he would discover that he had a long lost brother in Dru. So going on a vacation to Freedonia, Gru was finally reunited with his long-lost brother and learned of his family’s legacy in villainy. However, the brothers’ ideologies would eventually clash, as Dru realized that Gru had long since left the life of a criminal. Thankfully for both Gru and Dru, they were able to reconcile quickly enough to stop Balthazar Brat once and for all. With Gru rehired by the AVL, and Dru continuing the legacy of villainy, both battle against each other on opposite sides of the spectrum while still loving each other as a family. Truly a life that, whether a hero or villain, is by all accounts, despicable.

Megamind

“Imagine the most horrible, terrifying, evil thing you can possibly think of, and multiply it by six. In the meantime, I want you to carry on with the dreary normal things you, normal people do. Let’s just have fun with this, come on. And I will get back to you.“

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, the two planets of Mega-Planet and Metro-Planet had their fates sealed due to a world-ending catastrophe that was impossible to reverse. However, before the inevitable annihilation of both planets, two young survivors were sent far away to another planet. To which the parent of one of them said they were destined for–yeah we didn’t catch that last part. It was probably important. Sooner rather than later, both infant alien prodigies landed on Earth. Unfortunately, while one of them landed with the warm loving embrace of family, the other landed and grew up in a prison. This young boy would grow up the rest of his life ostracized by his peers and made to appear as a villain. Eventually, he would accept the role he was given, and with a new determination to take over the city of Metrocity, the blue kid from beyond the stars alongside his Minion… named Minion… would turn into the one and only MEGAMIND: Incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all evil.

Thankfully for the citizens of Metrocity, Megamind’s attempts to take over the city were always thwarted by his rival from Metro-Planet, Metro Man. However, on one faithful day, Megamind’s brilliant schemes and tricks finally paid off as he trapped Metro Man in a building constructed from his weakness, copper, and fired a laser at the structure powered by the sun. And with that, Metro Man was dead and Megamind had finally won. With no opposition left from Metrocity, Megamind became its ruler within just one night. However, after just a little while, Megamind realized that maybe, just maybe, the life he always wanted was not the life he needed. While he achieved his life’s goal, beating Metro Man and taking control of the city, upon doing so he found that he was left with no purpose. Without the goal of beating Metro Man to motivate him, he found that life became a boring and dreary slog. 

So in an attempt to rekindle the fire inside his heart, Megamind aimed to make and train a superhero on par with Metro Man to relive his glory days. Meanwhile, while being disguised as the absolute chad that is Bernard, he ended up falling in love with Roxanne Ritchi, the news reporter he used to kidnap as part of his schemes against Metro Man. But after a heart wrenching break-up, Megamind was back and fully ready to commit whatever heinous and dastardly plan he had in store for Metrocity. But to the surprise of even Megamind, the hero he created, Tighten, ended up turning into a villain and needed to be stopped.  The unlikely duo of Megamind and Roxanne ended up actually finding Metro Man, who much to everyone’s chagrin, wasn’t actually weak to copper. 

Metro Man instead got tired of society’s expectations of him as a hero, used Megamind’s death ray to fake his death, and pursued a career in music. Metro Man still had a bit of hero in him left though, and graciously passed his old job as the protector of Metrocity to his old adversary. With this new inspiration, Megamind made his stand against Tighten – not as a villain, but as a hero. And in the end, Megamind won the day. Why, you may ask? Because he finally had something that was worth fighting for. Just like his former adversary, Megamind stopped following society’s expectations for him and forged his own path as a true hero.

Now carrying the responsibility of being Metrocity’s main protector, Megamind threw a yard sale to get rid of all his evil inventions in an attempt to rebrand. After accidentally activating an evil plan from his days of villainy, a giant mech called the Mega Megamind, he sprang into action with a new suit designed to replicate Metro Man’s capabilities. However, the suit just didn’t feel right for him. Thankfully, after Minion helped him realize that he didn’t have to be Metro Man in order to be a hero, he used some of his old evil inventions to defeat the Mega Megamind, and went on to reclaim the rest of his inventions, which included stopping a bunch of kids who had dehydrated their parents. Now with his own Megamind Signal, he was ready to be the city’s newest hero. The signal could be bigger though.

Equipment

As clarified previously, Gru and Megamind are going to go in depth themselves for this section. So uh, have fun with their antics, and make sure to read everything in their voice, OR ELSE.

Gru

Freeze Ray

Ah, an absolute classic! I’ve had this Freeze Ray since I was just a little villainous lad. It’s perfect for making sure people don’t move another muscle by encasing them in ice. Great for people I don’t like. Like you. Stupid screen blocking my way.

Cheese Ray

Never has villainy been so delicious, wouldn’t you say? With this tool from my youth, I can blast people with cheese! Never will people enjoy a cheese stick ever again without remembering my talents.

Sticky Fingers

An easy gadget to use to grab things from a distance! And it sticks like goo, making it easy to hold onto objects. Plus, I can use my non-gun holding hand to control the goo hand’s movements, as the goo will mimic the hand not holding it.

Zodiac Stone

This one takes me back to my childhood, when I fought those Vicious 6, then used it to turn them into pesky little rats! Ha! The good old days. Oi, don’t laugh at them just being rats! Keep up the disrespect and I’ll turn them into lions that’ll chomp you down like a plush toy! If it’s uh, the Chinese New Year, anyways. Only works for forced animal transformations on that date.

Air Gun

Not one of the doctor’s more interesting inventions, but I suppose it has its purpose. With it, I can gain an extra boost midair. And no, this doesn’t make my missions ‘easy mode’ like some OTHER ‘platformers’. I can also use it to blow away my opposition, have you ever seen a plumber’s feet do that?

Fart Gun

…it shoots out a blast of toxic… gas. Ugh. Knocked out El Macho or whatever.

Boogie/Cookie Robots

NO! I asked for cookie bots not boogie bots! What am I even supposed to do with these? Well I mean the cookie bots were pretty useful in stealing that Shrink Ray, but what are these going to do nowadays!? Dance the blue guy to death? Wait, would that actually…

Heat Ray

Ah, this tool of destruction brings back memories. With it I can annihilate any pesky rigged ‘fair’ games with a single incinerating blast! Aaaand win my cute little daughter a big ol’ fluffy unicorn while I’m at it!

Rocket Launcher

I’d never hold such a… such a RUDIMENTARY weapon in my hands, though I wouldn’t be too shabby with it, but the rocket launcher in the hands of my MINIONS has proven to be a formidable tool in WIPING OUT MY ENEMIES with NO MERCY! 

Shrink Ray

Oh this little thing? Absolute monster of a weapon right here! With it, I can shrink anything down to the point it fits in the palm of my hand! A ship? A toy model! A Minion? A rat sized helper! The Moon? A baseball! The Shrink Ray can also reverse the effects of other shrinking technology. Pretty nifty eh? Eh? Eh well, not precisely. Explained by the ‘Nefario Principle’, ugh, the bigger the target is? The faster they’re going to turn all big again. But hey, put the Moon back in place with that moron Vector still on it. Besides I’d like to see YOU last five minutes with someone twice your size! Or, ten times. More? Dr. Nefario! By how much does the Shrink Ray shrink something again?

Laser Gun

This one’s pretty simple, I shoot it and a laser comes out, can cut like a lion though, and has gotten me out of some pretty sticky situations.

Jelly Guns

Needed this one to save my transformed Minions! With this jelly I could take the purple out of my boys by shooting them, totally safe by the way, and with the help of my girls I knew I would succeed!

Lipstick Taser

Ah, a gift from my lovely wife Lucy! We have had so many great times together, none of which had anything to do with this thing… uhh… ANYHOW, the Lipstick Taser is perfect for giving a devastating shock via electric wire to any morons trying to be obstacles. This would include villains such as El Macho, one of the greats! It beat him in a single zap. It’s often used while saying the magic, almighty words, “LIPSTICK TASER”.

Grumobile

Ah, my superb Grumobile! A work of an art wouldn’t you say? Well you better say! Its rocket booster works excellently for getting from point A to point B in a SNAP! And no, I do not run over other people’s cars because they’re in my lane. I simply find them inferior to the mobile and thus deserving of traffic-stopping justice.

Ship

You think the air will keep you safe from my plans? Think again! With my ship I can take to the skies and BOOM! A rocket or two or twenty will annihilate you to itty bitty little smithereens. Do not think you can just keep flying farther either! The ship also comes equipped with a grappling hook to latch onto a target.

Flying Scooter

Oh, my getaway from my first successful heist? It’s not too spectacular but, I guess it does assist me for aerial travel.

Motorcycle

It’s a motorcycle! That I can use to uhh… Go places! Look, not all of these are iconic or special alright?

Rocket

A crucial part of my original EVIL plan to STEAL THE MOON! But as the moon plan went underway I realized how much my girls meant to me, and I used it to save them. Getting back on topic though, this rocket is top of the line! Capable of high speed travel. I can even do barrel rolls and steer it at top speed, and with my Shrink Ray attached, it’s nigh unstoppable!

Stealth Suit

Used this baby with my brother to steal the Dumont Diamond from Balthabore Brat. This suit is useful for cutting with my fingers, breathing underwater, climbing with sticky hands, and even hovering via an air sack. Edith also really likes when I put it on. ​I’m not sure why, though.

Megamind

De-Gun

Ah, ol’ reliable, had this baby since I was little, and it’s been so useful dealing with pesky humans who ask too many questions or get in my way, don’t know where I’d be without it! I wonder what Deregulate does though, I never bothered cataloging the settings. On the topic of those, I’ll let these “G1” guys talk for a bit…

Finally, gag out of my mouth. Anyways uh…

• Dehydrate: This setting turns anything Megamind shoots into a small blue cube, with similar effects on both large and small objects or living things. Any living being that’s ‘dehydrated’ doesn’t seem to suffer any effects of long-term dehydration. Even a small amount of water will instantly rehydrate the cube and bring back the original thing in one piece.
• Decrease (Not officially named): Shrinks objects and people.
• Destroy: Shoots a blue energy blast that can blow through doors and brick walls.
• Decompress: Presumably reduces the air pressure of objects and people.
• Demoralize: Presumably reduces or removes someone’s morale.
• Decoupage: Presumably decorates objects with paper cutouts.
• Death Ray: Disintegrates objects and presumably people.
• Debilitate: Presumably weakens people.
• Deregulate: Presumably removes laws and restrictions on something.

Wait don’t put that back in NO WAI-

Defuser Gun

Losing Metro Man took me to a… dark place, so I made this baby and ended up creating a monster more evil than even me, but it did teach me a valuable lesson about good, and I can’t hate it for that. Wait a second, why would I ever use this again? The last thing I want is to give that pin-nosed baldy muscles and flight by giving him Metro Man’s powers via this gun! Darn it all, now I have to go back to my base to toss this there.

Freeze Ray

My freeze ray! One of the most useful weapons I’ve had since becoming a hero for the sake of shooting blisteringly cold ice at targets, and also great for bypassing long lines of humans when I’m in a hurry.

Sticky Gun

This one’s great for sticking enemies in place with sticky gunk ball, things, though their bickering when I use it often makes it a hassle to deal with.

The Death Ray

Oh dear, this certainly brings back memories. By charging up solar energy overtime, my Death Ray can shoot down an explosive blast from orbit with annihilating force! In uh, one specific space anyways. Still useful though. I always wonder where I’d be now if Metro Man had never faked his death. Would I have wised up on my own? I’d like to think so.

Disguise Watch

Ah, the disguise watch! Oh, I still remember the look on the Warden’s face, priceless! Though I’m not using it to try and balance three lives again, one’s more than enough for me. But hey, scanning someone so I can turn into their exact appearance whenever I want while having their exact voice can definitely still come in handy.

Knockout Gas

Ahhh, this one brings back dear memories of kidnapping Roxanne to bring Metro Man to my base. I don’t really need it much anymore though now with Metro Man gone, but it takes me back you know? Though I guess causing someone to suddenly be knocked out is a pretty useful benefit, perhaps if I survive today I’ll try it out on a crook later!

Forget-Me Stick

One of my most effective monstrosities. A hit from the Forget-Me-Stick never fails to make someone forget being awake!

Shrink Bombs

Imagine being the size of a rat with just the single explosion of a Shrink Grenade! Well you don’t have to, because I will shrink you down to a stompable size with one of these… unless you root for me and not pin-nose, of course.

Invisible Car

I kid, I kid.

A car that is as its name suggests, invisible. Most undersell it! This Invisible high-speed car has saved my hair multiple times, especially in my LEGENDARY battle against the despicable Tighten, and the several times Minion has been able to use it to get me out of prison! I frankly don’t know where I’d be without this thing. Probably well uh, prison.

Hoverbike 

This one’s really nothing special, but I quite fondly remember Minion (he was disguised) picking it up to save Roxanne the moment I realized that for the first time in my life, I had to be a hero. But uh moving on from being sentimental, It’s capable of moving at high speeds both near the ground and near the sky.

Scooter

My scooter! Used for speeding around town and catching any dastardly criminals taking advantage of the common citizenry. Great for when I must return to my lair POST-HASTE.

Spider Bot

Ah, the Spee-ider bot! Where would I be without it? Probably well uh, dead. Huh, a recurring joke. Anyways, great for bouncing around and traversing around the area. Makes for a nice jukebox as well when I actually WANT the boomboxes to make sound that is. YOU HEAR THAT MINION!? DON’T JEOPARDIZE THE FIGHT ON ANY CIRCUMSTANCE!

Balloon Ball

With a tap of my belt, I can surround myself with several balloons that act as a bouncy and protective shield. I don’t know why, but it reminds me of this weird kid from some “hero anime” Minion talked about one time.

Magnetic Helmet

A helmet that I can fling around and control metal things with! I’d say more but this helmet is so unmemorable that I wouldn’t remember it if not for the greatest villain of all time: LYING MEDIA. Battle of the century my boots.

Force Field Helmet

Ah, I remember this old thing! It served me well in do-gee ball class! Its defensive magnetic shield like properties, as well as its repulsion properties, prevented any rubber balls from touching me! Though I still got sent to the corner.

Battle Suit

My signature Battle Suit! Its movements directly follow my own, allowing for fast-paced epic battles of awesomeness! It is so capable it can even keep up with that dastardly pathetic Tighten. For a little at least, I don’t want to take TOO much credit… he did get lucky though so erm, GIVE ME ALL THE CREDIT BABY!

Gloves

With these babies I can amplify my strength to insane levels… at least in theory, but they always break when I’m up against a much stronger opponent.

Blower Glove

Just like the last gloves, but these help keep my foes away by making huge blasts of wind, meaning I don’t have to worry about them breaking on impact.

Tesla Glove

With THESE babies, the competition is gonna be SHOCKED when they get a taste of my fists!

Jetpack & Hover Boots

This specific jetpack saved my rear several times. I can use this jetpack to keep up with flying enemies and dodge their attacks more easily, instead of being a sitting duck the whole time. Accompanied with my watch, I almost fooled Tighten into leaving Metrocity, if only I could ever get the pronunciation right… Along with the jetpack, I also have some special Hover Boots. With these boots, like my jetpack, I can elevate myself into the air. They’re smaller and harder to target than my jetpack too, which makes them more useful if I need quick mobility against an enemy.

Metro Man Suit

Ah, the suit I designed to mimic my old rival and friend. I never did get the hang of it, because being exactly like Metro Man was never meant for me. The super strength gauntlets, jet boot powered flight, and my patented dual purpose laser and X-Ray vision visor are certainly useful despite my lack of experience though.

The MEGA-MEGAmind

Oh…this. Yes, this robot definitely didn’t try to murder me after mistaking me for Metro Man. I’m flattered that my own creation thought I was Metro Man though, there are much worse comparisons that exist! Not like it would be able to stomp Metro Man or anything, even if I set it wild on everything it wouldn’t be able to match him, despite being my second strongest creation. Its insane strength, rocket hands, and car launching arm cannon definitely make it a fun chaotic wild card, however.

Minions

Ok, we seemed to get away from those two. Now, let’s move onto their respective followers, their own personal Mi-

Gru

Minions

Haha! You thought you could get rid of me by… wait what did you even try to do? Did you really just walk away? You guys didn’t even make a distraction or anything! Disappointment in your lack of skills aside, let’s move onto my little guys.

My Minions seemed to have existed before me, not exactly sure by how long though. Regardless of their experience, they can occasionally be uh… not as efficient as I would desire? Playful? But ehhhhahhhh don’t let that detract from their impressive traits! Here, I have a list I totally made myself and didn’t take from that knocked out “G1” guy on the floor.

• There are 10,400 Minions in total
• Their bodies and limbs can stretch
• Shaking them can light them up, somehow? Ask Stuart about it, not me
• They likely have some type of experience, since they’ve been on the Earth with dinosaurs, and were all once in the Napoleonic Wars. They also… killed them? Never happened to me, though!
• Their environmental survivability is absurd. To put it into context, one Minion survived in freezing space with no food, water, or oxygen for multiple weeks with absolutely no consequence. We really should get him down from up there sooner or later.
• There are scenes where they just pull weaponry out of nowhere, from a mace, to a chainsaw, to a rocket launcher
• Built an airship and escaped prison in one night
• One of the Minions, Bob, can basically say “no” to getting hit

Megamind

Brain Bots

My impeccable robotic assistants, these drones can fly, pick up objects, make holograms, emit light, and form large structures (and clouds… somehow) via their sheer numbers alone. That said, they’re not the brightest, and act more as pets than anything else. They’re also not very strong on their own, and a single stick of dynamite can take out a small chunk of them with little difficulty. That said, they’re the most loyal and reliable assistants a villain like me could have… besides of course-

Minion

Where would I be without my best friend? We’ve been through everything together, since I was a little baby on my home planet. Made this gorilla suit for him to walk outside since he can’t stay out of water for long. While he’s not NEARLY as genius as I (unless you take that “Will Ferrell” person’s word for it, but who’s even heard of that guy?), I find he’s more than capable of using my gadgets and he’s been an instrumental part in my many escapes from prison. He even taught me the importance of presentation in my battle against Tighten! But when I took him for granted, he helped me realize how much he meant to me, and ever since he’s helped me out doing hero work around the city. I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost him, and I hope I never have to think about that.

Also I’m tired of getting the credit for the line, HE said “Presentation”, not me, make it so we all get some credit in this, cmon!

Abilities

Gru

Intelligence

Huh, it seems that guy is still knocked out. I guess I hit the right spot on his head! I’m pretty smart when it comes down to villainous things like this. I’ve made some half decent inventions after all just by myself. I do have to give Nefario credit for a lot of them though, but I’ll take all the credit for outsmarting people quickly in the blink of an eye like Macho and Brat!

Combat Skill

I’m not too shabby of a fighter if I do say so myself. After all, I was able to keep up with Balthabore Brat in an epic dance battle, and I could expertly evade attacks from El Macho after he became the man behind the- wait. Why is that in the script- EDITH! HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING THOSE “Theory” VIDEOS AGAIN!?

Megamind

Intelligence

By far my greatest quality? In the name, my mind! I have created numerous incredible gadgets and schemes over the years, being able to bend the laws of physics with nothing more than the tippy taps of my fingers. I can be good on the fly as well, as I am fully capable of coming up with vital tactics when the situation calls for it. Tactics which that pin-head will not be able to comprehend! Probably. Maybe? Surely?

Double Jump

I can do a mid-air double jump! Why? I don’t know. 

Feats

Ok we remembered to actually “close the door” on them this time, and thus finally got rid of them, don’t ask what we mean by that phrase by the way, it’s not legal, anyways back to our normally-scheduled blog.

Gru

Overall

• Defeated Vector, El Macho, and Balthazar Brat
• Froze Scarlet Overkill and stole the Queen’s crown from her
• Fought the Vicious 6 as a child
• Gained the trust and respect of all of the Minions, and managed them better than any previous villain
• Managed to steal the Shrink Ray, as well as the Moon
• Became a better person, leaving his days of villainy behind and becoming a great father and husband
• Became one of the top operatives of the Anti-Villain League
• Established a bond with his long lost brother Dru as they both stopped Balthazar
• Tied with Heinz Doofenshmirtz for the most nosiest nose that has ever nosed

Power

• Knocked out a shark with a single punch
• His freeze ray can match the power of a flamethrower
• His heat ray melted a carnival stand (0.5 Tons of TNT)
• Implied to be able to beat the crap out of Vector, who:
  • Withstood the kinetic energy of his body being yanked by Gru’s rocket (3.83 kilotons of TNT)
  • Survived being forced into space by the Moon (115.42 kilotons of TNT)
• Knocked out El Macho when he was amped by the PX-41 with a taser. Amped El Macho is superior to Purple Minions who can survive eating a small nuclear bomb (10 tons of TNT to 5 kilotons of TNT)
  • It should be noted that due to how tasers work, they arguably “bypass durability” to an extent, but even still, Gru can punt Purple Minions directly, so he would still scale to them
  • When amplified by PX-41, El Macho should be stronger than he was in his physical prime, at which point he could survive an exploding volcano despite not being enhanced in any way (322.02 tons of TNT to 8.32 kilotons of TNT)
• Could harm Balthazar Brat, who survived being blasted by his own shockwave-emitting super guitar

Speed

• Dodged multiple missiles by jumping through them (Mach 9.57)
• Ran up the entire Pyramid of Giza in a few seconds
• Quickly maneuvered his spaceship out of the way of the expanding Moon in the video game (Mach 297.82)
• His rocket can escape Earth’s atmosphere in a short time-frame (Mach 1846)
• After removing its boosters, the rocket could reach the Moon even faster (0.1688C)
  • In the video game, Gru pilots the rocket through an asteroid field on the way to the moon, and can dodge rockets and such while moving at top speed. It should be noted that when he does this, the rocket’s thrusters are not jettisoned, so it’s possible that it wasn’t moving at the relativistic speeds shown in the movie due to the greater mass. However, at minimum the MHS+ in-atmosphere speed mentioned previously would apply.
• His Shrink Ray can cover the entire moon in mere seconds (Mach 1990)
  • It is worth noting that this speed only applies to the gun itself, as no character has reacted to its beam before
• Can avoid attacks from El Macho after he is amplified by the PX-41 Serum

Durability

• Illumination humor
• Has endured being nearly crushed by his ship shrinking on him
• Endured Vector’s numerous traps, which included being under a falling door, nearly being eaten by a shark, and falling large distances
• Survived being hit by multiple missiles (several of which were nuclear) which left a crater (40 tons – 4 kilotons of TNT)
• Superior to Vector, who survived being on the Moon when it exited orbit and returned to space 
• Survived fighting El Macho’s chicken
• Endured being blasted by Balthazar Brat’s guitar
• Scales to the Minions, who could survive exploding pieces of dynamite that popped Brat’s gigantic bubblegum (14.3 Kilotons of TNT)

Megamind

Overall

• Totally defeated Metro Man I swear not lying guys he’s 100% dead bro was weak to copper 
• Waged countless battles with Metro Man to decide the fate of Metro City
• Sole survivor of his destroyed home planet
• Defeated Tighten, the Mega Megamind, and the Doom Syndicate
• Got the girl
• Made up for his old misdeeds by becoming the ultimate protector of Metro City, saving it on multiple occasions

Power

• Punches from his weaker gear can move Tighten’s face a few inches
• The Metro Man suit could throw the Mega Megamind several hundred feet in the air 
• With his mechs or gauntlets, can casually lift and toss cars
• His larger mech suit can match blows from Tighten. Tighten can:
  • Blow up the giant Megamind head made of Brain-Bots all at once
  • Carve his name into a portion of a city with his heat vision
  • Cause a skyscraper to fall over and then throw it (49.69-78.17 Tons of TNT)
• His most powerful weapon, the Death Ray, can cause a devastating explosion (At least 15.648 kilotons of TNT)
  • One of the Death Ray’s settings is “atomize”, though other settings are just increasingly dramatic synonyms for “destroy”, many of which mean the same thing, so whether the ray actually atomizes things is debatable. Taking the “atomize” setting literally, however, the laser’s output would equal 2.25 megatons of TNT.

Speed

• Can walk backwards decently fast which is cool
• Can cover large distances quickly with his various vehicles
• Able to dodge blows from Tighten, who can move fast enough to create sonic booms (Mach 1)
• His hoverboots can outfly explosions which move faster than sound
  • The explosions in question were specifically caused by an oil truck; for hydrocarbon fuels in air, the detonation velocity can be up to 1800 m/s (Mach 5.25), though the explosion slows down after igniting due to air resistance, so Megamind likely did not outpace the maximum speed
• Walked from Michigan to the Grand Canyon in less than 50 minutes (Mach 6.04)
  • Tfw hypersonic walking

Durability

• Can tank moderate hits from Tighten, as well as survive being tossed by him into the sky
• Survived being dumped by Roxanne
• Tanked smacking into the windshield of a news van
• Survived being stomped on by the Mega Megamind while wearing the Metro Man suit
• Survived an explosion that blew up most of a building (1.7 tons of TNT without accounting for surface area)

Weaknesses

Gru

Regardless of all his gadgets and experience, Gru is still human, regardless of what his cartoonish feats of endurance will tell you. He can run out of stamina and lacks any sort of special ability to make up for the possibility of being disarmed without his gadgets besides his decent combat skill. And while he is certainly capable of quick thinking to counter crafty or deadly opponents on the fly, he is definitely not much of a strategist and can be annoyed easily. 

Megamind

In spite of his great intellect and impressive gadgets, Megamind isn’t perfect. For starters he can get very cocky once in a fight for too long, like against Tighten. Also, while his most powerful gadgets such as The Death Ray are impressive, they do need a lot of time to recharge and warm up. In addition to this said gadgets are not invincible in the slightest, meaning Megamind can be disarmed and thus lose a lot of his potent tools.

Before The Verdict

Why is Gru being given
the Shrink Ray? Didn’t he return
it before the 2nd movie?

In Despicable Me 2, Gru states, “First of all you got no proof that I did that. Second, after I did do that, I put it back!”. This is in response to Ramsbottom reminding Gru about the whole moon-stealing fiasco from the first movie. However there is no direct confirmation that Gru lost access to the Shrink Ray he used on the Moon. It is not stated in this scene in DM2 or anywhere in DM1 at any point that he returned it to the experimental lab he stole it from. The only thing clarified is the return of the Moon.

To add onto this, in the Despicable Me video game, Gru is shown being able to fire the Shrink Ray like a turret from his rocket ship. Showing he can use it for more than just hitting the Moon. His daughters also use it in the short Home Makeover.

In conclusion, there is no reason Gru should not have access to the Shrink Ray.

Didn’t Megamind dodge
Tighten’s light-speed laser
vision? Why hasn’t that been
brought up for Megamind’s
speed?

Some people argue that Megamind has relativistic reactions due to dodging Tighten’s laser vision. However, this is inaccurate.

First off, in the final battle against Megamind, Tighten’s laser vision is shown penetrating a building with force. Not burning it, penetrating it. Light does not have mass and thus cannot apply force directly to that which they hit. Since these lasers do, and are never stated to be light, they cannot be light-speed as they do not meet the required laser standards.

But even if the heat vision was accepted to be light-speed, Megamind never actually reacts to the beams firing. He dodges the lasers, but only while they are moving side to side, he does not react to them actually firing from Tighten’s eyes. Because of this, he is only reacting to the speed of Tighten moving his head. In terms of its actual firing speed, Tighten’s heat vision is consistently shown hitting something the frame after he fires it in quite literally every single instance, making it impossible to discern any degree of in-tandem movement. 

In the Button of Doom special, Megamind refers to the lasers his Metro Man suit can fire as “laser vision”, but as with Tighten’s lasers, these also instantly cross the screen and no one ever reacts to them, so there are no speed feats that can be applied from them.

What about that time
Megamind survived
Metro City falling
from orbit?

In one of the Megamind comics, he and the rest of Metro City survived the city crash landing back into the planet. Once again however, you cannot directly scale him to this.

Megamind is explicitly very far away from the point of landing itself, as he was on top of the city when steering it into position. Thus he would not have had to endure the force himself. Scaling Megamind to Metro City falling from orbit is essentially like scaling the average person to a car crash. You were caught in the accident, sure, but you yourself did not have to endure the direct force of that other car ramming into the side of your car.

For the kinetic energy that is withstood by Megamind’s body in this instance, let’s suppose for the sake of argument that he reentered the atmosphere at 11200 m/s (the Earth’s exit and reentry velocity) and never slowed down due to air resistance (which he would). Generously assuming that Megamind’s smaller-than-average body is as heavy as an average human (80 kilograms), the kinetic energy that he himself is withstanding would be:

KE = 0.5 * 80 * 11176^2 = 4996119040 joules

Or 1.2 tons of TNT, building level highballing both the mass and velocity

Why is Megamind steering
Metro City into orbit not being
used as a speed feat, while
Gru is being allowed to scale
to his rocket?

When Megamind flew Metro City down back to the Earth’s surface, Megamind still had time to see what he was flying towards before making evasive maneuvers. It is this issue that has held back numerous other feats of piloting ships like this in the past. So the question arises: why are we scaling Gru to the speed of his rocket?

The reasoning is pretty simple. In the Despicable Me video game, the final boss battle involves a space fight/race with Vector while trying to get to the Moon. During this altercation, Gru is piloting his rocket at maximum speed to try and get to the Moon before Vector does. Whilst doing so, he has to react just in time to avoid large asteroids as well as rockets from Vector. He does not get the opportunity to see these things coming towards him from a large distance and instead has to react immediately. Thus, unlike with Megamind, Gru can scale in speed to his space traveling vehicle.

If there were no instance like this in which he explicitly reacts to many obstacles and projectiles at top speed from a close distance, we would not be scaling him to the rocket.

Verdict

Despicable Me in German Hits Different-

Stats

Megamind’s best attack potency feat that he can scale to with his mechs like the Battle Suit or Metro Man Suit would be Tighten’s building toss, which gets just under 80 tons of TNT. Considering his Battle Suit can somewhat match Tighten in their first fight, and the Metro Man Suit is considered superior to it, logically Megamind can get full scaling to Tighten by this point. 

For speed, Megamind’s best feat is a weird one, being him and Minion walking to the Grand Canyon. Time-frames for this feat can vary depending on interpretation of the comic, with the minimum fifty minute timeframe still resulting in Megamind being over Mach 2. Being generous and assuming a ten minute timeframe, Megamind can get up to just over Mach 12. But most logically, considering how the Grand Canyon trip was the most emphasized part of the travel montage, the most fair timeframe to assume would be a twenty minute one, getting Megamind just over Mach 6 as a mid-end.

These numbers are impressive for sure, but they surprisingly do pale in comparison to Gru’s stats. Gru should be comparable to his own Minions, who can survive the 14+ kiloton explosion that popped Brat’s bubble gum. His Lipstick Taser can also take down a PX-41 enhanced El Macho, who had survived a volcanic explosion that can get into the kiloton range, and this feat was done without the PX-41, when he was still just a normal (albeit very macho) human whose ballpark Gru should be somewhere within. But by far Gru’s best AP feat would be scaling to Vector surviving the moon pushing him into space.

“Actually Vector didn’t survive the Moon’s kinetic energy because his body’s surface area is way smaller!”

This is true. Vector does not scale to the Moon’s kinetic energy in any way that counts. However, as the Moon expands from small to large within a second, Vector’s own body would be rapidly accelerated and then decelerated in a split second each. To accelerate a human-sized body to such a high velocity in such a small time-frame, the growing Moon must have been applying a huge amount of force to his body, across a radius well over a thousand kilometers. If you’ve seen that one calculation for Adam Strange from DC (you know the calc, if you’re unfortunate enough to know what we’re talking about), it’s basically a similar method as that. The energy Vector would be withstanding here comes out to over 115 kilotons of TNT, and Gru is easily Vector’s physical superior.

This is consistent enough too, as in addition to the aforementioned Minion and El Macho feats, Vector previously survived a similar situation where he was pulled into the air at thousands of times the speed of sound by Gru’s rocket, which would also require him to be withstanding kiloton levels of kinetic energy, given that the rope pulling him didn’t rip his body in half. Gru and the Minions have also both withstood bombs that are labeled with the symbol for ionizing radiation – radiation which removes electrons from atoms and molecules that it comes into contact with – in other words, nuclear bombs.

So one Gru feat, two Vector feats, two Minion feats, and one El Macho feat all in the kiloton range; six different feats in the same tier is pretty dang consistent all things considered.

For reference, the best AP feat in Megamind’s verse which he would not scale to even with his superior armors is the orbital strike of the Death Ray, which only gets just over 15 kilotons of TNT. Reminder, the Death Ray is a very situational weapon, as it seems to only be able to strike one specific spot. But even if Megamind was able to aim it directly at Gru, Gru would straight up be able to survive the Death Ray blast.

This is assuming, of course, that the Death Ray’s “atomization” label is just Megamind being dramatic. It is entirely possible that the laser could be out of Gru’s weight class altogether and capable of oneshotting him, but that also comes with some caveats. Namely, it’s assuming that Megamind would even be able to hit Gru with the Death Ray. Even ignoring the fact that the Death Ray only targets one specific place (Gru isn’t an idiot and will be able to tell if Megamind is trying to position him for something), Gru has plenty of useful mobile vehicles, and speed-wise, he’s at minimum getting just under Mach 10, as he casually jumps between Vector’s rockets. This would mean, even with the high end of Megamind’s Grand Canyon feat, he still would not be much faster than Gru, and with any other end, he would be slower.

However, Gru has more than just missile dodging. His rocket was able to escape Earth’s atmosphere in a very short timeframe, and as Gru is able to scale to his rocket’s speed in terms of reaction speed, this would get his speed up to Mach 1846. This would make Gru just over 300 times faster than Megamind’s Mach 6 trip, and fully capable of getting out of the Death Ray’s targeting area as soon as he realizes what’s going on.

To summarize, while Megamind is definitely powerful, with some extra powerful tools able to be pulled out if the situation aligns, Gru has a very comfortable large stat advantage, surpassing even Megamind’s best tech.

Arsenal & Abilities

When it comes to tech, both are packing a lot of useful gadgets. Freeze Rays, explosives, and peculiar gasses that’ll knock someone out. When it comes to “armors”, Megamind definitely has the advantage. His various gloves and Metro Man suit are definitely more of an enhancement than Gru’s stealth suit he got from Dru. And with his signature gun, the De-Gun, Megamind is fully capable of winning the fight by trapping Gru in a dehydrated cube.

Gru on the other hand has his own useful respective tech though. For starters, he has a better selection of vehicles. His ship is much more useful than Megamind’s Hover Boots and Bike, considering its greater size and flight speed. Not to mention it comes with built in rockets and a grappling hook, which gives Gru a big range advantage over Megamind. Gru’s rocket is also a significant advantage, with its even greater flight speed.

Both do have a wide variety of miscellaneous gadgets to pull out, such as sticky guns capable of keeping foes in place, shrinking technology, and so on. So in terms of more middle ranged offense they are quite comparable. Megamind does have better defensives though thanks to his Magnetic and Forcefield Helmets, as well as a bigger arsenal overall.

At face value with all these factors in mind, it would seem that Megamind takes the advantage in terms of arsenal. But it’s not that clear cut. Going back to shrinking technology, Gru’s Shrink Ray is a much better shrinking method than Megamind’s Shrink Bombs. It has more range and its high speed makes it harder to avoid. With it, Gru would be able to shrink down any of Megamind’s tech, making it useless.

It should also be noted that while Megamind has his own Freeze Ray capable of incapacitation, Gru has both more experience with his, and is more prone to using it immediately. Whereas in comparison Megamind never particularly starts his fights by trying to freeze people solid or, with his De-Gun on the topic of incapacitation, dehydrating them. And of course, Gru’s explosive weapons that come with his high-flying faraway ship definitely make it harder for Megamind to efficiently utilize a lot of his more limited range gadgets. Said ship’s high travel speed also makes it basically impossible for Megamind to get Gru in position to be hit by the Death Ray.

Obviously Megamind has his own advantages when it comes to the arsenal of both, carrying gear Gru would love to have. But it is undeniable that Gru has all the right tech needed to both keep up and solidify his own respective advantages.

Tertiary Factors

Let’s get the obvious out of the way. Megamind, in terms of mathematics and engineering skill, is definitely the more intelligent of the two. However, this is not everything that must be taken into account. While both have the same relative amount of experience in villainy, Gru has been in far more straightforward confrontations. All of Megamind’s material has painted a clear picture that Megamind almost never fights Metro Man directly. At least, not without extensive amounts of prep time. In a scenario like this, Gru would almost certainly win in a direct fist fight.

One advantage Megamind does have, however, is his physiology, although that is only due to his double jump, which grants him greater traditional mobility. But Gru could match this with his air-gun. Admittedly, it is a much more situational option in comparison, but still a factor. There is also the glaring issue of Gru being much faster, meaning either having the edge in this field does not matter all that much.

While both have weapons that can instantly end the fight, Gru’s has a much farther range in both arsenal and area of effect. He always has the option of entering his ship and eviscerating Megamind with missiles, while Megamind has no such options. All of his weapons are either close range or a straight beam, which does him no favors here. If it came down to a ranged battle, it would not end well for Megamind.

Finally, the Minions. Though Megamind’s are far more coordinated, numerous, and efficient as a group, their durability absolutely pales in comparison. Gru’s minions are simply more skilled individually when put to the task, and being blunt, are the only one of the two sides who could actually end the fight. As for Minion the individual, while he is a good moral anchor and fairly competent on his own, he is simply no match against the hordes he’s up against.

And as a final, final thing to address, there is a chance Megamind could disguise himself as a Minion to get close and get a win through sneak attack. But it is simply not likely enough to happen on the fly, considering infiltration of an army is something he has never done before, to logically grant him a win over all the other factors.

Conclusion

“And now he knows he could never part. From those three little kittens, who changed his heart. The End.“

Advantages:

• Significantly stronger and faster
• Weapons like the Shrink Ray or Fart Gun landing would immediately win him the fight
• Relative experience with better combat skill
• Less reliant on his gadgets
• His Minions are WAY more durable…
• Would absolutely sweep in a dance off
• Ultra Instinct
• Voiced by Steve Carell

Disadvantages:

• Not as intelligent
• Most weapons aren’t as deadly
• …but aren’t quite as reliable as Megamind’s Brainbots
• Would absolutely be ruined if the government looked into him
• Illumination’s cash cow
• Doesn’t know what the Minions did in the 1940s

“Well, I finally had a reason to win. You.“

Advantages:

• Smarter with relative experience
• Has weapons such as the De-Gun and Knock Out Gas that could end Gru quickly
• Has better defensive gear
• His Brainbots are more focused…
• Has faced a wider variety of opponents
• Can double jump like seriously how the hell does he do that
• “PRESENTATION!”
• Voiced by Will Ferrell

Disadvantages:

• Weaker and slower even with specialized suits
• Less combat skill
• …but are far less durable than Gru’s Minions
• Only has one movie rip bozo (tho he’s getting a series soon so based)
• Except you know he didn’t actually say “Presentation” that was Minion technically
• Has that Jacksfilms forehead

There are a lot of factors that go into this fight, involving gear, experience, and so on. Unfortunately for Megamind however, the advantages Gru has are simply much more significant. With his superior strength and speed, Gru (especially with his weaponry) is more than capable of matching Megamind’s strongest tech. With the debatable exception of the Death Ray, which could take Gru out depending on where you lean, but cannot reliably hit him regardless.

And while Megamind does have some impressive gear like the De-Gun which would be able to bypass Gru’s durability to take him out for good, Gru has his own gear to match. So while Megamind himself is very intelligent with a good amount of experience along with a strong army of Brainbots led by Minion, Gru has the combat skill, experience, and his own army needed to win the day. Admittedly, it is completely possible to argue Megamind having the overall advantage in terms of his arsenal and tertiary factors, but Gru’s superior stats simply allow him to utilize his other talents to a level of efficiency that Megamind is simply not able to match.

The hero of Metro City, or Metrocity as he calls it, is certainly a capable and astounding hero with plenty of potent tricks to pull, but Gru being able to match said tricks while having a large stat advantage knocks this fight pretty clearly in his favor. Do not blame me and call me Despicable, for this Mega Mind of mine is nothing more than a presenter of the truth. The winner is Feeeeuck HE GOT THROUGH THE TAPE WE PUT ON THE DO-

Ha! They couldn’t hold me back forever. They really tried threatening to explode my house if I didn’t leave em alone, like WOW! WOW! What was the topic at hand again? Ah right! The winner is ol’ Despicable Me, Felonius Gru!

Final Tally

Team Gru (14) – Blue Igneous, Nobrainer13, Alex, greymerlion2, Yulthedoof, The Mad Gadfly, Weniss, Dark Behemoth, Dripphotime, Legion of Doom, Pachylord, Spiderman437, Tyranni, Rina Antiqua

Team Megamind (0)

Sorry blue-man fans. I know you wanted a win here, but this just wasn’t it. I will say, he was certainly a remarkable man. But this “Megamind” fellow would never be able to match up to me and my impeccable talent!

So before I go get back at those G1 guys for threatening my house if I didn’t let them do their own work, I will complete this wondrous meeting with this conclusive statement: I, Felonius Gru, have achieved an undeniable, ultimate, superb, victorious Win of amazing proportions!